1. Heck does not freeze over a couple of Monday nights ago.  Brom Bombers win their game final game of the season, but so does Prime Time, enabling him to claim the final playoff spot. A much better season than every other GM in the league expected out of the team.  Building for next year.  At least, the Bears continue to dominate.
2. ABAS folks are now doing tech support in the National Office?  That's like doctors doing their own taxes.  They might be able to do it, but they shouldn't.
3. When 4 e-mail messages are received in the span of 1 hour asking when the Insider is flying home from Thunder Bay on Friday, the Spidey senses starts tingling.
4. The first birthday greetings received were from the Brother-In-Law.  Note that they were a day early.  Blame was placed on an 24-hour notification on reminders.  Silly IT-type people.
5. Three hours in the Thunder Bay airport is better than seven hours in the Newark airport, which in turn is still better than 5 hours in the Kugluktuk airport.
6. Ammunition against future claims by Paul - He does dance, and there is "video" evidence.
7. After seeing the new Bond film, Kimberly's new love is Daniel Craig. When asked if he ranks higher than Matthew McConaughey, two responses are given: 1. "That's a tough question". 2. "Hey, do you want to see the new Matthew McConaughey movie?".  Astute readers can guess the follow-up response from past issues.
8. Memo to marketing-type people moving to Chicago - Bears playoffs tickets are much more important than Oprah tickets.
9. The first night back in Winnipeg includes the Outcast arranging for the staff at Montana's to sing their version of the birthday song to the Insider, even though it was her birthday the following day.  This includes the "mandatory" wearing of moosehead antlers.  To any readers that ask, there is no camera present and the Insider will deny everything.
10. Celebrations for the Outcast's birthday includes her wearing a tiara.  Flashbacks from the previous month come roaring back.
11. The suggestions from the Outcast for a movie includes mostly chick flicks and animated movies.  See point #7 for the appropriate response.
12. Next week's edition might include the first annual Year in Review Awards.  Suggestions from readers may be used.

1. The week gets off to an auspicious start with Trina dropping f-bombs in front of little children.
2. The final tally for the injury count related to the past weekend's move includes a stomach injury.  Readers may question how someone can injure their stomach while helping somebody move.  Keep in mind that we're talking about Paul.
3. Some Haligonians are genuinely upset with the newly imposed provincial smoking ban.  Not that it will influence the appearance at the weekly Friday night spectacular.
4. Kim is shocked at being called only a mediocre event coordinator.  You only step up to being a super duper coordinator when you start serving full course meals at your events.
5. Opening line from a phone call received this week - "You know what I haven't had in a while?"  - Kimberly Robinson.  The mind goes wild at all the possible responses to that statement.
6. In response to Kim's announcement, Paul makes plans for the treatment of her office, and is quick to demonstrate to anyone who will watch.  For those playing at home, it involves him turning around and shaking his butt.  Not a pretty picture, and Trina has flashbacks to the "Glace Bay Experience".
7. Marketing type people have interesting lunchtime conversations.  Topics this week include:
   • What to pre-drink for the Christmas party.
   • Prizes being given away at the Christmas party.
   • The best way to organize cab rides.
   • The Geographer Cabbie.
   • Custom designed T-shirts.
   • Goings on in European youth hostels.
8. Native Edmontonian seems unsure about the selection of the lunch place in payment for helping her move.  Trust the Insider.  Harbour 60 is just a light lunch.
9. Some Marketing type people when presented with proposed points feel that they should always be the #1 point of the week.  The Insider is quick to point out that the points are always based chronologically, and that Marketing People shouldn't feel slighted under any circumstances.  The response - "I'm feeling the love… REALLY!".  (Whew - another bullet dodged.)
10. Remember this rhyme: "Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, never fear."  Marketing people need guidance.  Prairie people quote the mantra regularly.
11. Some individuals feel that going for a scalp massage is a worthwhile endeavour on a Friday night.
12. The Cable Guy causes Native Edmontonian all kinds of aggravation this week.   Marshall's retort - "Were you satisfied?".  An evil eyebrow lift may have been issued in his direction.
13. Conversations from Friday night at Philthy McNasty's remain OTR.
14. Kimberly discovers that copy Christmas parties are way more fun than accounting Christmas parties.  The after effects, however, are much worse.
15. The Insider claims the award for best dressed at the annual GT Christmas party.  Partial credit will probably also be claimed by the two Fashion Consultants who provided input into the shirt and tie selection.
16. Time to purchase the above outfit - 3 minutes.  Stores visited - 1.
17. The rowdy, troublemaking table is quickly identified.  Marketing type people agree with the assessment.
18. Despite the fine trade offers made (including a leather portfolio, pen set, and a Keith's hat & t-shirt), the Insider will keep the HBC gift certificate won at the Christmas party.
19. Table conversation includes the Bears, North American accents, and the definition of real cold.
20. Drink of the night - some sort of fruity concoction containing raspberries.  The Insider, who would never be caught dead with such a girlie drink, stuck with Keiths.  Other prairie people though.....
21. No real Walk of Shame candidate emerges.
22. Flying with a hangover really, really sucks.
23. If there is a sudden cold snap in Winnipeg on Tuesday, that would be a side effect of heck freezing over, as the Brom Bombers make the MBFFL playoffs.  Combination of things needed - Bears D and Robbie Gould combine for at least 7 points, with St. Louis being shut down for points.  Monday Night Football won't be stressful at all.

1. 14th floor staff members give the Insider advice on how to work a computer. Poke the bear…..
2. Given the events of the past weekend, Kim will probably be evaluating Mackie's choice of diet.
3. An Edmontonian Soap Opera was unveiled this week. Chants include "Keep it in your pants". For those playing along at home, Google the word "Pronger".
4. A gold letter week for the Insider. An e-mail is received from Air Canada advising that Prestige Status has been achieved. Perfect timing with the North American Tour now ended, and no real flights planned.
5. At the Wednesday comedy event, Paul seems temporarily stunned that the jerk chicken pizza contains jerk chicken as the main topping.
6. Acrobatic move of the week - The Sister catches her heel in the cord of the overhead screen, trips and falls flat on her face, ripping the overhead screen right off the wall, all in front of her grade 12 class..
7. Follow up response from the Insider - Did you at least stand up after the move with hands the air, scream "ta da" and claim that you stuck the landing to score a perfect 10?
8. Follow up to the follow-up response - "Did I offend you? (Glad to know my efforts are not in vain)".
9. Some 14th floor personnel learn quickly this week that if they volunteer on committees, they should attend all meetings. Otherwise, all kinds of tasks will get assigned to them in penance for missing meetings.
10. An e-mail with the subject line of "It's time to dust off your dancin' shoes!" prompts Kimberly to request a song at the upcoming GT Christmas Party for Paul - "It's Raining Men". The Insider will have to remind Kimberly of the pact made with everyone in the known world with respect to keeping Paul away from dance floors, DJ's, and live music in general for the safety of himself and everyone around him.
11. In an effort to be helpful, the Insider suggests the following song requests:
    • “I am Woman” by Helen Ready - For Paul Ellsworth (See IR Vol #1, Iss #1, Point #18)
    • "Oops! I did it again" - Britney Spears - Also for Paul Ellsworth (otherwise known as pulling an Ellsworth)
    • "Dance, Dance" by Fallout Boy - For National Office Team Captain
    • "Sharp Dressed Man" by ZZ Top - For David Marshall
    • "Livin' on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi - For Kimberly (as she always to sing it while in the Insider's vehicle. Maybe someday, she might actually learn the words.)
    • "Little Know It All" by Iggy Pop feat. Sum 41 - For The Insider
12. Native Edmontonian risks the wraith of Leaf Nation in the office with her choice of ornament for the GT National Office Christmas tree.
13. A competition ensues this week in an effort to get the number one point in the Report for the upcoming week. For those playing at home, the points are listed chronologically, and therefore whatever happens first in the week appears first. The Insider now expects a flurry of e-mails first thing this upcoming Monday.
14. In the effort to make the first point, certain HR people said the Insider could make up any story required. The Insider, of course, would never outright make up an story. In a related story, there is no need to make up any stories when 15 minutes later, the same HR person indicated that "My mommy said I'm gorgeous". Some weeks the Report writes itself.
15. Quote of the week - "Watching the leafs getting their asses kicked. Perfect way to spend a night!" - Native Edmontonian. Follow-up statement - "Anything I say about the Leafs is never OTR".
16. The weekend move gets off to an auspicious start with the gum stuck on the seat in McDonalds.
17. Nickname given to the Insider this weekend - "Muffin". The Insider raises an eyebrow in disbelief. Silly marketing-type people.
18. Memo to self: Discuss the concept of taping up the bottom of moving boxes.
19. Readers are encouraged to ask Native Edmontonian what "driving the chicken" means.
20. Motivation taken by HR personnel to speed up the move - "It's too bad you're sick. You've still got to pull your weight".
21. The results of the move - Five hernia, Four backs a hurtin', Three glasses broken, two near heart attacks, and a Native Edmontonian in a new pad (Sung to the tune of the 12 Days of Christmas).
22. Congratulations and good luck, Kim.

Insider out.