1. Native Edmontonian attempts a new method of dealing with being tired - getting too much sleep. The results - "I don't even make sense too myself right now." The Insider debates inserting some comment asking if she ever makes sense, but that is deemed too controversial, and so will be left unsaid. (Sort of..)
2. Le Tigra demonstrates his construction ability by playing the role of Vanna. This consists of pointing from the couch, while others do the work. Maybe a new nickname in the works?
3. Muffin requests further taping of the crappy teeny-bopper show. This is apparently the result of the inability to install the cables connecting the PVR box to the VCR (even through the Insider provided the cables to begin with). Sigh....
4. Muffin starts unintentionally quoting from old 60's song, leaving others in the office humming the tune in their heads for the rest of the afternoon.
5. Deborah displays her ability as a fashion model. Unfortunately, she doesn't leave on the full "80's rocker chick" makeup before coming into the office.
6. Quote of the week - "Do not disturb - working with numbers." - Native Edmontonian. Even junior accountants can get excited about boring things.
7. National Office Team Captain seems overly excited about getting reports on how people spent their time on Newfoundland audits during the last 4 years. Remember, it's accountants that get excited about boring things.
8. Extreme forensic audits have now been completed for all travel arrangements, including planes, trains & automobiles. If anyone ever complains about the forensic audit on a restaurant bill, the Insider has some stories to tell.
9. In a follow-up story - "I am offended" - Paul Ellsworth. Not true. He is cheap.
10. The phone call from the so-called Cougar Bar is almost unintelligible. Good thing the Insider is invited to see "Evil Dead - the Musical" instead.
11. The Buckley Housewarming Extravaganza goes off in spectacular fashion until the end of the night when a now-legendary Ellsworth happens. Foot in mouth disease continues.
12. Don't worry, Elder Battlin' MacLean. Despite getting details from multiple sources, the incident with your car's mirror will go unreported.

Insider out.

1. When the Insider comments that every actor in Spider-Man 3 seems to end up crying, Native Edmontonian indicates that she feel that Paul would cry at chick flicks.  The Insider disagrees.  There will be occasional evil laugh uttered at inappropriate spots, but there would probably not be crying.
2. Native Edmontonian expresses some consternation that the Cookie nickname is taken away.  The Insider remains indifferent.
3. Quote of the week - "I deal with kids the same way I deal with dogs". - Kimberly Robinson.  Hopefully, Kim realizes that timeout for kids doesn't mean putting them in a cage.
4. The Vegas odd makers will have to be talked to.  The correct over/under from last week should not have been on the amount of phone calls home.  It should have been on the amount of martinis consumed by Trina that would limit the calls to 1.
5. While watching the Insider compose an e-mail comprised of an exclamation point to get his meaning across (yes, it was to Kimberly), Native Edmontonian tries to provide some helpful advise - "Girls don't understand that.  We are very simple".  Note to any females reading this:  Please provide all commentary arising from this quote direct to Native Edmontonian.  (But CC the Insider for his amusement).
6. Guido and The Boys Collection Agency may soon be called in to deal with the IOU in the 14th floor beverage fund.  They’ve had some success in the past in dealing with deadbeats, but may be encouraged to not go for the knees.
7. Armenian, Albanian.  Tomayto, Tomahto.
8. Native Edmontonian tries to get out of her IT/tax services debt by providing technical assistance to the Insider.  As the Insider had to troubleshoot her troubleshooting assistance to find the real solution, the attempt becomes null and void.
9. Trina finds out that the grass may not be greener on the other side.
10. Native Edmontonian makes the stunning claim of being a junior accountant.  Just because you key in a few numbers doesn't make you 1/3 of the way to a CA degree.  Especially when the underlying numbers being keyed in are based on reports designed by the Insider.
11. Muffin makes a stunning claim that her favourite TV show is some sort of hard hitting type drama.  When the Insider casually reminders her that he knows the reason why she signed up for enhanced cable, she grimaces and admits her love for one of those crappy teeny-bopper shows.  In fact, she is so in love that the Insider gets a panic e-mail to tape it when she forgets to set a tape herself.
12. In a related story, the reason given for missing the show?  Muffin wants to do face plants in the sun.  (Some call it playing volleyball).
13. The fame and skills of the Insider are becoming more well known, as he gets contacted about participating in a marketing session involving branding for the Institute.
14. Paul makes a guest appearance to the fabulous Haligonian Institution that is Tom's.
15. The ongoing issues with Google Talk will now be blamed on National Office Team Captain.
16. Same day delivery from IKEA costs less than next day delivery.  Who knew?
17. For anyone who has ever experienced the forensic audit on a restaurant bill, the forensic audit on the arrangements for trans-Atlantic flights is much worse.  Trust the Insider.
18. The Outcast attempts to make devious plans with Kimberly on her first trip to TO in the summer.  This may involve some sort of nefarious cross-border scheme.  The Insider will remain expressly silent about the comments being thrown around.  Really silent....

Insider out.

1. An early response to last week's Report has Paul threatening the Insider that he "was going to 'reply everyone' and say…you mean you don’t always have a curmudgeon-like attitude….but I decided to be nice since the Insider could strike back". At least someone is thinking before speaking out. The Outcast should take notes.
2. The Cookie nickname looks to have caught on based on the Google Talk photo adopted by Native Edmontonian. As the Insider is a trend setter not a trend follower, the Cookie nickname will now be dropped and the original nickname is now back in full effect.
3. In keeping with the theme of food-based nicknames, Bobblehead has requested a change to "Doughnut". Response from Native Edmontonian - "Little does he know that Cookie = stripper. therefore doughnut = ???? (pimp )".
4. In reviewing the pictures from the first annual Some-sort of Crazy-a$$ed Albertan Type Salute (SCATS), Bobblehead's actual new nickname will be "Le Tigre", based on the attempted Zoolander poses.
5. The Insider needs to consider bumping his rates for last minute April 30th tax questions.
6. When a window cleaner shows up outside of the 14th floor, Native Edmontonian make a suggestion that the Insider should flash him to get his attention. The Insider will now commence investigations into the deviant nature of Albertan window washers.
7. The continuous requests to her new IT department has Trina questioning the mysteries of life - "I am a little weird".
8. IT difficulties continue with ABAS-Type person also having technical difficulties. After picking up the phone receiver, pressing the head set button, pressing the mute button, dialling * to get an outside line, holding the phone with just one ear while struggling to get the headset, and then performing some sort of voodoo type chant, she ends up hanging up on Insider.
9. Native Edmontonian's response to all of life's stuff - blame Marshall. "That's how us girls work".
10. This week`s episode of the Battlin MacLean has Baby watches home movies of herself. She claims to just fast forward through any "boring parts" (that would be anything with EBM in it).
11. "That's annoying". - Paul Ellsworth. Interesting way to start a phone conversation. Most people go with "hello".
12. The Insider briefly considers moving back to the homeland when he receives his MPIC insurance rebate cheque. Stupid Ontario drivers.
13. The copy of Paul`s signature and credit card number needed for official documentation now resides in a safe place. In a totally unrelated story, the Insider has no idea how all the new merchandise ended up in his place. Nope, none.
14. Apparently booking a trip to China is more difficult than the Insider expected. The second leg of the European Tour was booked instead, with stops in Ireland (and maybe London).
15. Quote of the week - "I wouldn't trust us MacLean's with anything." - Baby Battlin` MacLean, commenting on Elder Battlin` MacLean`s ongoing computer virus issues, after a potential further malfunction to the loaner workstation.
16. When some random Futureshop sales person tries to tell the Insider that he doesn't know that much about computers, the Insider briefly smiles to himself, before launching into a small discussion with the wannabe tech guy.
17. Kimberly spends most of the weekend babysitting small children. Not to worry, Trina. Your children probably won`t end up too scarred for life. The Insider places the over under on the number of phone call placed by Trina to check up on the kids at 5.
18. The Insider will need to review the settings for Facebook when he received an automatic text on the cell phone at some ungodly hour when someone who shall remain nameless adds him to her friends list.
19. After needing some additional parts (a splitter and some coaxial cable), and some reconfiguration on the wireless router and cable setup, the Insider`s new multimedia studio is now fully operational. Note that this still required less effort than dealing with EBM`s virus issue.
20. Apparently the surest way for a major league baseball pitcher to become injured is to be drafted by the Broma Bulls fantasy baseball team.

Insider out.